Fear of Intimacy

The stronger the emotion, the better and clearer the imagery will latch and hold for poetry. I took a fear of intimacy and personified it, leeching off the speaker throughout her new relationship.

The funny thing about poetry is not often it is not whether or not it has a “deeper” meaning but rather how many ways a reader can interpret the metaphors. Using vague pronouns and crystal clear images, can let any reader in while giving them something to hold on to.

Lies, Leech, Love

 

On the day Dad left, Mother grew cold,

breathing frostbite and vinegar into a once warm home,

no longer filled with the low hum of love,

Dad took that with him.

 

You are nothing but a leech, Mother said

as I suckled. I never knew if she said that to herself or to me.

The leech that drove my Dad out the door,

You are nothing but a leech, Mother said

it was a phrase she would repeat well into my childhood.

 

Another phrase Mother added after Dad left was,

There’s an evil in you leech, be careful not to let it out.”

her insults meant nothing until I caught a boy

 

I tried to resist, but the leech inside wanted more,

the boy was my weakness, as the leech said, he can give you freedom—to devour

the way he carried himself with nothing holding him back, every time

I wished to be as brave,

Mother’s words echoed, you will never be loved,

those words weaponized within me, till I was hopeless

 

Something swam under my breast and lurked,

Its eyes poked my ribs when he would touch me,

 

When I got pregnant, he was ecstatic, and pressed

my stomach while the void preened. It whispered to me,

after he fell asleep in the comfort of our shared warmth,

Let me have him, he won’t leave now that he knows.

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