Growing Old

This post will be fictional, unlike the others thus far. I came up with this idea a awhile ago and I’ve expanded on it today. Any likeness to real people, things, or places, is completely coincidental. Enjoy!

Daisy heard the piano keys smash in discordance, as light footsteps are heard down the hall soon followed by a “this kid will be the death of me…Nora, get back here!”

The footsteps sounded outside of Daisy’s reading room—a large closet with bookshelves and a single plush chair to lounge in. “Nora, your aunt is resting today.” The nanny’s heavier footsteps sound at the end of the hallway, Nora whined.

“But she’s been in there all week.”

The nanny sighed, how can you tell a child about grief in a way they will understand. “She needs time to…. say goodbye to your father, so let’s go back to practicing the piano.”

“I’m done practicing for today…”

“But don’t you want your aunt to hear your beautiful music?”

“I can’t play scales anymore, I doubt that is nice to hear.” Nora knocked on the door, “May I come in, Auntie?”

“Nora, stop. The loss of your father effected everyone differently—especially Miss Daisy.”

Daisy pulled the blanket more firmly on her shoulders and opened the door. “It’s okay, she can come in.”

Nora’s hair bounced around her head as she skipped into the room. Daisy waved the nanny off, and scooped Nora into her arms so they both fit into the chair. Daisy’s hand brushed Nora’s hair from her forehead. “I’m sorry I haven’t been to see you this week, it has been… well I imagine you know half of what I’m feeling.”

Nora nodded, “Nana doesn’t come here anymore either… but she lives too far to visit. So I wanted to see you, my nanny is mean.”

Daisy smiled, looking into the eyes of her niece—her green eyes nothing like her fathers, but her voice and personality was exactly the same: commanding and endearing. As her throat tightened with memories of her brother, she wrapped Nora in the leftovers of the fleece blanket. Nora snuggled closer and yawned.

“Can you tell me about dad again?”

“Again?” Daisy shook her head, looking at the painting of the late-Javier. “What did you want to know this time?”

“What was he like as a child?”

“It’s not a nice story, sweetie. Your dad wasn’t always kind, it took a lot of work to be.”

The child thought for a moment and nodded, “Dad would want me to know him.”

Daisy settled her head atop of Nora’s before starting, “As you know, Javier was born thirty years before me. His mother had died in childbirth and his father grew bitter with all the lost love. Javier hid away in closets and spare rooms to avoid your grandad, which worked for a while; but, come the time of Javier’s thirteenth birthday, your grandad pressured him into a boarding school across the continent.”

Nora played with Daisy’s fingers. “Did the school have fairies?” Daisy chuckled.

“Maybe, why?”

“So that dad had friends.”

Daisy held her breath, fearing a breakdown if she let go. It took a few minutes for her to compose herself. “I hope so.”

Nora sat in silence, thinking of all the mystical creatures scampering around an old castle converted to a boarding school. Daisy had no doubt that Nora would express explicit interest in going to boarding school; either to be closer to her late father or to experience firsthand the mythical creatures in the countryside. Daisy reached for Javier’s favourite book: The Travels of the Wind. A novella about the journey of a young boy who walks through his town after waking up seeing into the Fae realm. “Javier loved this book, he often reread it when he felt low. He said it reminded him of what he lived for rather than wallowing. You might like it.”

Nora looked to the book and traced the gold embossing on the cover. “Your giving me this?”

“It’s yours.”

Nora smiled and hugged Daisy, “Thank you, Auntie. I’ll have nanny read this to me tonight.”

Daisy let Nora take the book from her hands and let her flips through the pages. Daisy remembered Javier doing something similar when she handed him a book. Javier changed when Nora was born. Before Nora, Javier’s thin-skin lead him to quick anger, the silent kind that festered before popping; despite his past of neglect and abuse, he softened from it rather than toughened up. After Nora, he allowed himself to feel. He once confided he could not raise a child with his anger so he sought help.

“Do you want to know more about Javier?”

Nora placed the book down. “Yes, please. Tell me about before I was born.”

“Hmm, he hated me.”

“No!”

“Yes, he did. Our father remarried and though Javier was no longer living with us, he had very strong feelings of being replaced with a new family. He took it really hard, but I loved having a brother. I think it didn’t help that I got everything he wanted from his father: love. Father was not loving, he ignored me most days and tolerated me the rest. But to Javier it seemed like he loved me. I annoyed Javier with letters and book recommendations when he visited for holidays.”

Nora turned around him Daisy’s lap so they were facing. “Dad was an ass.”

Daisy laughed. “Yes he was. When I aged, I watched how lonely he was so I had suggested that we grow old together, when he wanted to retire. It’s simple enough to do forme, little sacrifices as I give up the length of a young life. But he grew agitated and he ended the conversation.” Daisy wiped a tear from her cheek. “Said he wasn’t worth giving up my life for. I told him it was my decision, but he had already decided; when that happened, he did not want to be convinced. Javier believed he didn’t deserve kindness, as your grandad treated him as a pawn, not a young boy when he first came. Back then you couldn’t run away from your family. If you did, the police would bring you right back, social services weren’t as strict. Your dad hated his caged life, it made him self-destructive; but every kid back then did at some point. It comes with being shunned by loved ones.”

“Is it always like that?”

“No, people develop under trauma differently. Javier pushed people away, while I hold on to those around me very tightly, just as your own process will be different as you grow.”

“Dad’s life sounds sad.”

“It was. But after you were born, he was so happy. He got help for his issues and let himself be loved with the presence of your mother.”

“Mom also hasn’t been out all week. I miss her.”

Daisy kissed Nora’s forehead, “Do you want to go see her? I’m sure she will love to see you.”

“But… she will be mad at me.”

“Oh, sweetie. I don’t think your mother has any rudeness in her. I didn’t want you to see my sadness, so maybe she thinks that as well?”

“Okay!” Nora jumped out of the chair and pulled on Daisy’s hand.